I fell off the wagon. My will power gave up on me. Spending two months on my diet and changing my life drained my will power. This morning I didn’t fast and ate a very carb heavy breakfast.
I feel like a piece of shit to be honest. I feel like my heart break from my previous post still getting to me. I wander the streets like a zombie. It’s not the fact that I’m alone it’s the fact that my life is not where I want to be. I honestly don’t want to put in the hard work and the mental stress. I compare myself to others. I see someone already accomplished and I say to myself that I’ll never be at that level.
It sucks having battles like these with your mind. For me there are times where I would triumph against my mind and do the things that would lead me to success and there are times, like today, that I would give in and let my mind sabotage me. A never ending battle.
I feel like there is a other entity in myself, a darkness sort of entity, that it’sole purpose is to see me fail and sabotage my life. This dark entity is the reason that I’m depressed, miserable and under accomplished. It’s tough to fight against this being.
Will power is a weapon that is used to fight off this darkness. Positivity is another thing that can fight this being off. All that sounds good on paper but it’s hard. It’s hard fighting off this being when you’re either hungry, tired or feeling any type of negative emotion.