I haven’t been able to update as much since the last post. Work and martial arts have been preoccupying my time. I come home from a long day, tired, hungry and aching to go to bed. What I noticed is that if I get around eight hours of sleep my mood is generally better.
I do have a problem though, It’s really simple. I’m living day by day. What that means is that I’m not working on my goals. By not working on my goals I’m not improving. By not improving I’m going in a circle. By going in circle I’m not changing or shaping the life that I always desired. Everyday feels the same. It felt like I’m reliving the same bullshit over and over. I try to do new things but change is scary. I feel as if I’m being held back from greatness.
There were some changes throughout this week. For example I went to my Muay Thai gym. I’ve been slacking on that, unmotivated to go. I finally went back and worked out on my own. Working on the basics and doing body weight training. That was something great and new.
I’ve been slacking on my goals that I made from January. It’s already the end of February and what have I accomplished? Nothing. I feel like I haven’t accomplished much. The only thing that I can say proudly that I have done was work towards my future physique. Dieting and exercising has been going well and I noticed the change when I look in the mirror. Other than that, nothing. I have to adjust my goals and slowly work on them. The one thing I definitely need to do is start small and build discipline.
The gym today was good. My deadlifts is one of my weakest exercise. In order from weak to strong would be; Barbell Row->Overhead Press->Deadlift->Bench->Squat. I’m trying to work on my weakness and overcome it. My numbers for this lift aren’t that great. I’m on a cut right now till summer so I can’t increase the weight that much simply because I’m on a calorie deficit.
I lost three pounds, which is good. I’ve been following a strict diet. Low carb high protein diet. I’ve been on it for a month and half. So far so good. I’m losing the weight slowly while I maintain some of my strength. There have been times that I went up in a few of my lifts. I look better in the mirror. I have a skinny fat type body, meaning that I have more fat around my midsection than anywhere else. I want to bulk up and get big muscles but that’s going to give me a bigger stomach. The first phase of my weight loss plan is to lose the belly fat and love handles. No matter how long it takes I’m going to lose the belly first then work on building up.
Yesterday I met up with girl, lets call her Sarah. This is the second date and I decided we should cook together. She has a small kitchen at her dorm so we cooked there. Lucky for me that she liked to eat healthy. We cooked turkey patties and side of broccoli. It was good. However it was hard to have a conversation with her. She’s boring. On top of that she wanted to wait longer to even kiss. She says that she didn’t want to move to fast. How is that fast? kissing is not fast. Either way it was boring, we watched a few youtube videos but I knew that nothing was going to happen and that I should go. I gave her a hug goodbye and left. Later on that day I decided that whatever me and Sarah were wasn’t going to happen. I texted her saying that it’s not going to happen. She said okay, so that solves it.
So the way I meet women is by approaching them in the street. I hate online dating;OKcupud, Tinder.etc. By approaching women in the street I’m putting my balls on the chopping block as well as working on my confidence.
Today was those days that I wasn’t in it. I was supposed to have a date with this girl name Kelly but she cancelled on me. I went out to approach but it was way to cold. On top of that the wind was unbearable. I did manage to get a few approaches but it was duds. I brought my laptop and my sketchbook and sat in a coffee shop but I didn’t have the motivation to work. I was getting distracted. On top of that I don’t like people looking at me when I browse the internet. I left and now I’m home, typing this.